i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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