Are we in a gay sports bar?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
