I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
