If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
