The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
