Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
