theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
