So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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