Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Dear god my vagina.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
