i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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