She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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