hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
