That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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