I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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