2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
