i don't plan on having that self control this summer
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
