You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
