What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Bring me that man meat
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
