The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
