She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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