Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
