what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
