remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
