It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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