Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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