I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
