i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
