Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize