I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
