how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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