I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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