Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
