Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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