Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
