dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
