Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize