So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
