you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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