in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Send help, water and tortillas.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize