I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This is not my ceiling
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize