hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Congratulations! We have a period
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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