I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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