ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think my vagina is haunted
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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