Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
