Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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