i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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