Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
