And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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