u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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