i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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