i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
