finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
His nipple licking is glorious
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