try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
