my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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