Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You're like the curious george of whores
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
