omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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