I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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